Parenting Bloggers: Let’s Stop Defining Ourselves by Our Differences!!
Parenting bloggers use countless labels to define their differences from each other. We’re “co-sleepers,” “breast feeders,” and “stay-at-home moms” – or we’re entirely the opposite. All bloggers are guilty of labeling themselves at one time or another – including me. It’s a necessity for finding your niche – but sometimes we take it too far.
It starts innocently – we use labels as a way of finding others who employ the same methods we do, but eventually, many of us develop factions in order to “blog fight” with one another through our comments and our social media pages. The co-sleeping moms and the sleep-trainers accuse one another of veritable child abuse on Facebook, while the stay-at-homers and the working moms battle for moral superiority on Twitter.
The truth, which we all know in our mommy hearts, gets swept away by the ocean of negativity, but if we stop and reflect for just a minute, two facts become as clear as day:
1. No system works for every baby.
Babies aren’t machines – they’re little people, and they have varied preferences. The only things every baby universally needs are love, food, shelter, and a relatively stress-free environment. This brings me to point number two…
2. A happy mommy makes for a happy baby.
What babies need more than anything else is the love and attention they get from a happy mommy. No other need is more important. If you are happiest when you co-sleep, you should do that. If you would go crazy without a kid-free bed, then you should sleep train.
If you love your job, don’t give it up for your child – you’ll only resent her, and that will not be healthy for either of you. But if the idea of going back to work after your child is born fills your heart with a feeling of helpless depression, and you can afford to stay home by cutting corners, then don’t go back.
In other words, follow whatever method will make you the happiest. Don’t let guilt drive you to Dr. Sears when you’d rather follow Dr. Ferber, and vice-versa. Then, most importantly, don’t guilt other mothers who have found different solutions than yours. What works for you may not work for them – and they know their babies better than you do.
Thankfully, the majority of parenting bloggers I’ve met work hard to support one another! 
Let’s keep supporting each other!
Let’s keep supporting each other!Do you have any blogging friends that use different parenting strategies than you do?
Amen!
Well said.
Thanks Amber!
I’m not a momma yet, but I really enjoyed reading this!
thisbeautifullifeblog.blogspot.com
Thanks Brittany!!
Amen, sista! I agree with everything you said! Happy to have found you through the blog hop! :_
Thanks Jilly!
Your blog sounds fun – I’m heading over!
every Mum knows best for her own child, but some Mums can’t figure it out and keep giving advices which maybe work for their kid, but not mine. I experience it on a daily basis
It’s true – every Mom knows what’s best for her own kid, and not necessarily what’s best for every other!
Hi! Stopping by from SITS! Thanks for the encouragement! I am a working mom, and I do things a certain way…like every mom. The funny thing is, no matter what you decide to do, someone isn’t going to like it, so you might as well just make your decision and enjoy your children! Thanks!!
Love this! Happy SITS day!
No matter how we identify ourselves, we are all parents that want the best for our children. That alone should unify us, right? Great points here.
Amen. I have blogging friends and friend IRL that are so different from me. I don’t presume to have any idea what will work best for them. No one wants others telling them what to do. I don’t. So why do people think that’s okay?
I haven’t run into much of that in my circles. If it happens, I generally distance myself from that person. There’s enough tough stuff in my life naturally. I don’t need to keep people around who are all about creating drama. I just don’t have the emotional energy for it.
I think you said this beautifully!
Amen! What works for me might not work for you. As long as it works for the family and everyone is happy, what does it matter?
Happy SITS Day!
I’m on my second baby and one thing I’ve learned is don’t judge. Motherhood is not one size fits all. Great post! Down with division and labels!
I’m not a mommy blogger. I’m a mother of three wonderful adult women and grandmother of one adorable granddaughter. I do identify my blog as an adventure in writing and life because I want to reach out to writers. Of course, all bloggers are writers but I also want to meet novelists. I saw on your stress list that one thing to do is to start a novel. Have you done that? Have you finished one? I saw your e-book but not if you have a novel. Enjoy your SITS Day.
Wonderful post!!! Amen to that! Happy SITS day!! Every mom needs to find her own plan of parenting…and we should always respect their decisions.
Well said! Moms need all the help and support they can get. We shouldn’t be tearing each other down!! I was in a meeting yesterday for some PTA stuff and a mom was upset because she is turning over the reins of a large project and feels guilty about it. I felt so bad and I told her that it was okay for her to not want to do it anymore. It was okay for her to focus on her own family. I hope it helped!
Very well said. It can be scary to even mention anything potentially polarizing (breastfeeding and sleep-training come to mind!) because people hold SUCH strong opinions about it. I remember posting something innocently on facebook about doing some sleep-training and every comment was either “don’t do it, you’ll scar him for life!” or “good for you, it’s the ONLY way to get any sleep!”. No in between or consideration for my specific situation! you are 100% right that every situation is different and what works for one family may not be right for another.
Very well said. Happy SITS day!