New Momma Beckers

As promised, here is “Part 2″ of my two-part interview with parenting expert and author of No Regrets Parenting, Dr. Harley Rotbart!  If you missed “Part 1″ last Tuesday, find it here!

RR: Your idea of childhood comprising 940 Saturdays became a meme that inspired many parents, including me, to relish our time with our children. When did you first think of it?

HR: I have long thought about and spoken on the topic of the “other biological clock,” the one that starts ticking after the miracle of childbirth. That clock can be cruel – making us so busy and pre-occupied with raising our kids that we don’t take the time to enjoy their childhoods and our own parenthood.

I wanted to quantify that concept of the ticking “other biological clock,” but weekdays are often so busy with their toddlers and school-age kids that it’s hard to imagine squeezing more time out of those days (although there’s lots of advice in No Regrets Parenting about even finding more time during the week). So, I focused on quantifying our fleeting weekends with kids, hence 940 Saturdays.

RR: Another interesting idea in your book is that contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to choose between being a parent and a friend to your children. What would you say to the Tiger Moms out there that would disagree with you?

HR: As a parent of 20, 22, and 24 year old young adults, I can tell you that being your kids’ best friend is the most important accomplishment a parent can achieve. Why? Because kids’ problems get more serious, and their issues more complicated as they get older. If you establish a “best friend” relationship with your kids from the start, they will trust you, confide in you, and be honest with you.

They will need your friendship more and more as they get older. But, that does not mean they don’t need structure, discipline, and boundaries. The role of parenting is not mutually exclusive from being your kids’ best friend. It’s a delicate but important balance.

Parents who only parent, are missing one of the great joys of life – being a best friend to your kids. And parents who think being a best friend is enough, will raise entitled kids who lack structure and guidance. Be both – what a wonderful opportunity!

RR: The second section of your book offers strategies for parents to make the most of their time with their kids. Which strategy would you say is your favorite? Which one did your kids enjoy the most?

HR: It’s hard to pick one favorite from the 60 or more strategies for No Regrets Parenting in the book. But if I have to pick one, it’s Pajama Walks. The best technique my wife and I ever invented for decompressing one of the most stressful times of the day for a young family – bedtime.

RR: Is there anything else you’d like to add that I left out?

HR: I am very jealous of you, Chris, and Troy – you are embarking on a wonderful excursion of parenting and family life. Most importantly, as you noted in one of the earlier questions, you have already embraced the concept of 940 Saturdays and the “other biological clock” while Troy is still a baby. You, I am certain, will have no regrets when this adventure of parenting is over. Congratulations!

Find Harley Rotbart’s blog here, then enter to win Dr. Rotbart’s critically acclaimed parenting book No Regrets Parenting here!!  The giveaway will expire on 7/23.

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