New Momma Beckers

Harley Rotbart, M.D.

Recently, I had the privilege of interviewing Dr. Harley Rotbart, the author of one of my favorite parenting books, No Regrets Parenting!  He had a lot of interesting things to say about how to avoid regret as a parent, as well as creating special moments with your kids!

If you haven’t read his book yet, I highly recommend it – and you can win a free copy here! (contest ends 7/23)  This is “Part 1″ of a 2-part interview.

Rebecca Rider: What would you say your book is about in a nutshell? What makes it different from other parenting books?

Harley Rotbart: No Regrets Parenting is a new, but intuitive concept of time management for busy parents, recognizing that each day with young kids can be very hard and feel very long, yet the months and years streak by all too quickly. I don’t presume to know the best way for each parent to do their parenting – and I don’t tell parents how to parent. I’ll leave it to others to advocate for “positive parenting” or “attachment parenting” or “simplicity parenting” or “free-range parenting.”

That’s what’s different about the No Regrets Parenting book. Rather than telling parents how to parent, I guide them in finding enough time to be wonderful parents, and teach them how to make their time with their kids more memorable. To use the “bumper sticker” for No Regrets Parenting, I help parents “turn minutes into moments” with their kids. I believe if I can give parents the time to parent, they’ll figure out the best way to do it in the context of their own families.

RR: What gave you the idea to write No Regrets Parenting?

HR: I’ve been a pediatrician for 30 years, and had the privilege of watching best parent practices and some that were not so good. My wife and I have also raised our 3 wonderful kids, now young adults, and watched our friends raise their kids.

There is a universality among parents that includes feeling as if they could’ve, should’ve, and wish they would’ve spent more and better time with their kids as they were growing up. As kids leave home for college and other adult pursuits, many, many parents are left with those “coulda, shoulda, woulda” regrets – if only they could do it over again. But they can’t, so I want to help parents do it right the first time – spend the time, so there will be no regrets.

It’s ok to feel nostalgia for your kids when they’re grown – that reflects happy times that you had with them. But my hope is that I can help parents feel no regrets.

RR: You book seems to be designed to be referenced, and you actively encourage your readers to skip around as they read. Why did you make this choice?

HR: The No Regrets Parenting book is written with the realistic knowledge that parents of young kids simply don’t have the time or energy to sit down and read anything cover-to-cover. The structure of the book is short chapters, in no particular order, that can be read in the school pick-up line, in bed before falling into exhausted sleep, and even in the bathroom where parents may find a few quiet moments to themselves.

RR: The first section of your book discusses the basic principles behind No Regrets Parenting. A few key ideas jumped out at me as I read, especially the idea of being present with your kids – paying them attention and appreciating them in the moments you are with them. Could you elaborate on this idea? 

HR: I call this the “Parenting Meditation” because I’m asking parents to really notice their kids, at least 3 times a day. The last time many parents really noticed their kids was in the delivery room when we counted fingers and toes and brushed away the wispy hair from their foreheads. Since then, we are often too busy choreographing our kids to really slow down enough to notice them.

You have made miracles with your babies – don’t rush through the days so fast that you lose appreciation for the wonders that your children really are.

Find “Part 2″ of this interview on this blog on Thursday!  And in the meantime, find his blog here, and enter the giveaway for No Regrets Parenting here!!

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